Kimtitgad is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, self-confident swan.

Kimtitgad created humanity seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimtitgad, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kimtitgad, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kimtitgad's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Kimtitgad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

2. Never wear white shoes.

3. You must love Kimtitgad.

4. Never think about stars.

5. Never think ill of sick birds.