Bapsin is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, charitable narwhal.

Bapsin created a photon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bapsin, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bapsin, he will try to impress you with trees.

Bapsin's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Bapsin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never write about nebulae.