Quatbidnan is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, smart snake.

Quatbidnan created the Sombrero Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quatbidnan, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quatbidnan, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Quatbidnan's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Quatbidnan's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat geese with great respect.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Never wear rings.

5. Do not eat aubergines.