Wiplogwik Safgovnullwod is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, idiotic owl.

Wiplogwik Safgovnullwod created the world three billion years ago.

If you believe in Wiplogwik Safgovnullwod, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wiplogwik Safgovnullwod, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Wiplogwik Safgovnullwod's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Wiplogwik Safgovnullwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never wear red skirts.

4. Never talk about manatees.

5. Always treat mites with great respect.