Cisscidyatt is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, happy cow.

Cisscidyatt created Europe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cisscidyatt, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cisscidyatt, he will not invite you to parties.

Cisscidyatt's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Cisscidyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

2. Always look after injured great tits.

3. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.