Saddabbopwik is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, bad-tempered zebra.

Saddabbopwik created light six million years ago.

If you believe in Saddabbopwik, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Saddabbopwik, she will refuse to believe in you.

Saddabbopwik's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Saddabbopwik's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never wear dresses.