Nellgeplab is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, passionate porpoise.

Nellgeplab created the planet Earth three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nellgeplab, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nellgeplab, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Nellgeplab's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Nellgeplab's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five nematodes approach from the west.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not kill mice.