Rilwipwigkim is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, calm eagle.

Rilwipwigkim created a top quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rilwipwigkim, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Rilwipwigkim, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Rilwipwigkim's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Rilwipwigkim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Rilwipwigkim.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Worship no other gods but Rilwipwigkim.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.