Ontfun Hinfebnul Mutdossnan is a god.

He takes the form of a small, resourceful jaguar.

Ontfun Hinfebnul Mutdossnan created gold nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontfun Hinfebnul Mutdossnan, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ontfun Hinfebnul Mutdossnan, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Ontfun Hinfebnul Mutdossnan's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Ontfun Hinfebnul Mutdossnan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Always help tortoises.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.