Hanfudnak is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, omnipotent wasp.

Hanfudnak created water three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hanfudnak, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hanfudnak, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Hanfudnak's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Hanfudnak's Holy Commandments

1. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never talk about dogs.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hanfudnak.

4. Hide if eight doves approach from the west.

5. Never talk about black holes.