Tettiwegtarp is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, happy raccoon.

Tettiwegtarp created a quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettiwegtarp, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tettiwegtarp, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tettiwegtarp's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Tettiwegtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.