Negwikfit is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, moody hyena.

Negwikfit created matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Negwikfit, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Negwikfit, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Negwikfit's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Negwikfit's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never wear stockings.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Negwikfit.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.