Pangrancuss is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, merciless unicorn.

Pangrancuss created humanity three million years ago.

If you believe in Pangrancuss, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pangrancuss, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Pangrancuss' most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Pangrancuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Run away from brown otters, for they are unholy.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Worship no other gods but Pangrancuss.