Vadquimgar is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, competent gorilla.

Vadquimgar created a top quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vadquimgar, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vadquimgar, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Vadquimgar's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Vadquimgar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Worship no other gods but Vadquimgar.

3. Always help foxes in need.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Vadquimgar on top of all buildings.

5. Do not take Vadquimgar's name in vain.