Arnvagmap is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, confident ferret.

Arnvagmap created viruses seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arnvagmap, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Arnvagmap, he will turn you into a snail.

Arnvagmap's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Arnvagmap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. You must never eat aubergines.

3. Never eat wheat.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Run away if three turtles approach from the north.