Flabingyarp is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, ruthless shrew.

Flabingyarp created oxygen four million years ago.

If you believe in Flabingyarp, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flabingyarp, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Flabingyarp's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Flabingyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Run away if nine doves approach from the west.

3. Do not wear black clothing.

4. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always take life seriously.