Lamnarlhug is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, proud toad.

Lamnarlhug created a top quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lamnarlhug, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lamnarlhug, she will make you grow a tail.

Lamnarlhug's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Lamnarlhug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat bread.

2. Never feed grapes to hamsters while wearing green shorts.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.