Fotyogflig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, compassionate swallow.

Fotyogflig created a charm quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Fotyogflig, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fotyogflig, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Fotyogflig's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Fotyogflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not speak about peanuts.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Do not dye your hair blue.

5. Never talk about fire.