Quimwapgen is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, wise tortoise.

Quimwapgen created the solar system eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimwapgen, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quimwapgen, she will turn you into a sheep.

Quimwapgen's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Quimwapgen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Respect your elders.