Kimtimhas is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, egotistical pigeon.

Kimtimhas created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimtimhas, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kimtimhas, it will strike you with lightening.

Kimtimhas' most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Kimtimhas' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kimtimhas.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Retreat if six hamsters approach from the north.