Cetquamstanmip is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, vain duck.

Cetquamstanmip created time and space seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetquamstanmip, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cetquamstanmip, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Cetquamstanmip's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Cetquamstanmip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Run away if nine swans approach from the south.

4. Never wear turquoise stockings.

5. Do not take Cetquamstanmip's name in vain.