Zenpibmis is a god.
It takes the form of a very fat, stupid
squid.
Zenpibmis created the Andromeda Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Zenpibmis, it will grant your every desire.
If you do not believe in
Zenpibmis, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.
Zenpibmis' most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.
Zenpibmis' Holy Commandments1. Never talk about gravity.
2. Pray towards the west.
3. Never play with disobedient children.
4. Do not drink alcohol.
5. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.