Figfatmip is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, generous beaver.

Figfatmip created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Figfatmip, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Figfatmip, he will turn you into a mouse.

Figfatmip's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Figfatmip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Figfatmip must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not make images of living things.