Cutquatkop is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, happy swallow.

Cutquatkop created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutquatkop, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cutquatkop, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Cutquatkop's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Cutquatkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.