Tikbonsab is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, omnipotent swallow.

Tikbonsab created the Whirlpool Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikbonsab, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tikbonsab, she will remove you from existence.

Tikbonsab's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Tikbonsab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.