Sandjonhog is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, happy shark.

Sandjonhog created humanity eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandjonhog, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sandjonhog, she will turn you into a goat.

Sandjonhog's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Sandjonhog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not wear iron on your body.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sandjonhog.

5. Never talk about gulls.