Dibvonkdiss Xemvilget is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, bad-tempered pig.

Dibvonkdiss Xemvilget created snails five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dibvonkdiss Xemvilget, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dibvonkdiss Xemvilget, he will cry a lot.

Dibvonkdiss Xemvilget's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Dibvonkdiss Xemvilget's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Do not dye your hair black.

5. Do not drink alcohol.