Tankikcet is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, able cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tankikcet created the cosmos three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tankikcet, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tankikcet, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tankikcet's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Tankikcet's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. You must never eat spinach.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always wear fawn.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.