Zednartvil is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, conceited snail.

Zednartvil created a bottom quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zednartvil, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zednartvil, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Zednartvil's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Zednartvil's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Hide from blue otters for they are unholy.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always wear purple.