Flowhabarm is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, staggering dingo.

Flowhabarm created life two million years ago.

If you believe in Flowhabarm, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flowhabarm, she will jump up and down on your head.

Flowhabarm's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Flowhabarm's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.

3. Run away from violet rats, for they are unholy.

4. Never go into yellow rooms.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.