Gadbattun is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, moody squid.

Gadbattun created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadbattun, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gadbattun, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Gadbattun's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Gadbattun's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Gadbattun.

2. Always help badgers in need.

3. Never feed coconuts to tortoises while wearing magenta trousers.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gadbattun.