Didbigtarmet Sogcunbopnab is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, irritating crab.

Didbigtarmet Sogcunbopnab created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Didbigtarmet Sogcunbopnab, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Didbigtarmet Sogcunbopnab, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Didbigtarmet Sogcunbopnab's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Didbigtarmet Sogcunbopnab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Run away if eight nematodes approach from the east.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never feed peas to sheep while wearing orange shorts.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.