Vagjanjop is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, moody whale.

Vagjanjop created Europe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagjanjop, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vagjanjop, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Vagjanjop's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Vagjanjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Worship no other gods but Vagjanjop.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never go into fawn rooms.