Niblatlap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, temperamental cow.

Niblatlap created bats eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Niblatlap, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Niblatlap, he will turn you into a dog.

Niblatlap's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Niblatlap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Niblatlap.

4. Niblatlap loves turtles, so they must be respected.

5. Do not dye your hair yellow.