Quartcubfum is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, blissful jackal.

Quartcubfum created energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Quartcubfum, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Quartcubfum, he will remove you from existence.

Quartcubfum's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Quartcubfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not kill hamsters.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Always help sick porpoises.