Fubgamtad is a god.

It takes the form of a small, tiresome beaver.

Fubgamtad created dark matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fubgamtad, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fubgamtad, it will torture you forever.

Fubgamtad's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Fubgamtad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair gray.

2. Always treat ducks with great respect.

3. Never hurt eagles.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never talk about fire.