Gemditwod is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, contented hippopotamus.

Gemditwod created the Andromeda Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gemditwod, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gemditwod, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Gemditwod's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Gemditwod's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Gemditwod.

2. Never talk about doves.

3. Run away from orange goats, for they are unholy.

4. Never feed bananas to snakes while wearing green coats.

5. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.