Xucnurtgenvanwikban is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, humane sheep.

Xucnurtgenvanwikban created energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucnurtgenvanwikban, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Xucnurtgenvanwikban, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Xucnurtgenvanwikban's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Xucnurtgenvanwikban's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Do not kill nematodes.

4. Do not wear blue clothing.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.