Batcathap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, proud scorpion.

Batcathap created viruses four million years ago.

If you believe in Batcathap, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Batcathap, she will be very sad.

Batcathap's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Batcathap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never wear mauve jumpers.

3. Always treat badgers with great respect.

4. Never feed bananas to eagles while wearing green shirts.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.