Larngidfodfad is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, pitiless swallow.

Larngidfodfad created vertebrates seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larngidfodfad, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Larngidfodfad, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Larngidfodfad's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Larngidfodfad's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not speak about garlic.

3. Hide if six snails approach from the north.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Erect four gold sculptures of Larngidfodfad on top of important buildings.