Quaflarploop Rapgeptad is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, omniscient walrus.

Quaflarploop Rapgeptad created life nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quaflarploop Rapgeptad, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Quaflarploop Rapgeptad, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Quaflarploop Rapgeptad's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Quaflarploop Rapgeptad's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always help sick dolphins.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Hide if four ants approach from the north.