Jabflagxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, effective goose.

Jabflagxuck created the Large Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jabflagxuck, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jabflagxuck, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Jabflagxuck's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Jabflagxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never sit near turtles.

3. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Worship no other gods but Jabflagxuck.