Ruttcudflis is a god.

She takes the form of a small, grumpy narwhal.

Ruttcudflis created a top quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ruttcudflis, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Ruttcudflis, she will torture you forever.

Ruttcudflis' most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Ruttcudflis' Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick pigs.

2. Always help gulls.

3. Feed all hungry birds.

4. Do not hurt dolphins.

5. Never eat bark.