Ontmabcapkop is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, calm dragonfly.

Ontmabcapkop created light seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontmabcapkop, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ontmabcapkop, he will destroy your favourite star.

Ontmabcapkop's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Ontmabcapkop's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight bats approach from the south.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Ontmabcapkop loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.