Sasstipstik is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, compassionate troll.

Sasstipstik created the Sombrero Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sasstipstik, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sasstipstik, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Sasstipstik's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Sasstipstik's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Sasstipstik on top of all buildings.

5. Feed all hungry foxes.