Tafingloop is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, benevolent gerbil.

Tafingloop created Mount Everest three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafingloop, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tafingloop, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Tafingloop's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Tafingloop's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Tafingloop.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always obey Tafingloop's priests.