Podwanlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, generous cat.

Podwanlarp created humanity four billion years ago.

If you believe in Podwanlarp, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Podwanlarp, he will send you a sign.

Podwanlarp's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Podwanlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always help foxes in need.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Run away from fawn otters, for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about black holes.