Tettinurnull is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, dishonourable snail.

Tettinurnull created time and space eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettinurnull, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tettinurnull, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tettinurnull's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Tettinurnull's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. You must never eat parsnips.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tettinurnull.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Worship no other gods but Tettinurnull.