Rullteenfom is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, all-powerful slug.

Rullteenfom created Asia three billion years ago.

If you believe in Rullteenfom, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Rullteenfom, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Rullteenfom's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Rullteenfom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Worship no other gods but Rullteenfom.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.

4. Rullteenfom must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.