Cemkadbum is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, pitiless porpoise.

Cemkadbum created the planet Jupiter six million years ago.

If you believe in Cemkadbum, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cemkadbum, she will destroy your favourite star.

Cemkadbum's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Cemkadbum's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine silicon sculptures of Cemkadbum on top of important buildings.

2. Always help ducks in need.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.